As Christmas Eve approaches, many homeowners are left wondering how they can defend their homes from the annual invasion of the jolly old man known as Santa Claus. Here are a few tips on how to keep the chimney intruder at bay:

1. Set up a security camera near the chimney to catch Santa in the act. With the footage, you’ll be able to prove to the authorities that Santa is a trespasser and have him arrested for breaking and entering.

2. Install a motion-activated sprinkler system above the chimney. When Santa tries to slide down the chimney, he’ll be caught in a deluge of water and be forced to retreat back up the chimney.

3. Set up a series of booby traps around the chimney. These could include tripwires, net traps, or even a pit of quicksand. Just be sure to mark the traps clearly so that Santa (and any innocent bystanders) don’t get hurt.

4. Use your home’s smart home technology to your advantage. Set up a voice command that will trigger the locks on your doors and windows to automatically lock when Santa’s jingle is detected.

5. As a last resort, you could always just leave a note on the fireplace stating that you’ve moved to a new home and left all of your presents behind. Hopefully, Santa will get the hint and leave you alone for good.

Remember, defending your home from Santa is a serious matter. With these tips, you’ll be well on your way to a Santa-free Christmas.